Child Custody Legal Process

Now any guy that has been in this situation knows what this is about. Before I went through it i had no idea and was probably sided with everyone else who said it's always the Fathers fault for not being there and he should have tried harder. That is until I was in the middle of the situation. When you are really living it you come to realize that if you wern't planning on marrying them you are now committed forever...theres no divorce for this.
So let me explain how this all happened briefly. I was 17 partying and all the stuff you think a 17 year old would do. I had got with this girl for a month did some stuff and broke up with her. Five months later we did it again and this time she ended up pregnant. Now the entire time we were doing anything i assumed she was on birth control. She even had the patch on during sex. So anyways we broke up and throughout the pregnancy I was positive the baby wasn't mine. This being she did sleep with others during the time of conception. So anyways 9 months later my daughter was born. Now me and the girl never talked didn't get along and I wasn't even informed on anything during pregnancy or even told she was born. Afterwards we went to paternity court, got tested, the results being 99.9%. So I became a father at 18. Now the following is an account of how the legal system works with unwed people have children.
So this is the time where ppeoples opinions really start to fly at your life. Now if any guys in this situation are reading this they know what comes next. We had to go to court the judge asks you if you are going to admit paternity or with the "evidence" they now have are going to make you be the father. Yes this is actualy what they do. So either way you are the father even if its 99.8% only at about 96.00% they give you the benefit of the doght, but they mainly want to put somebody down and get money coming in and get on with their own life's. Then they will start going into what you owe her. They will have alot of your information about where you work, what you make. Yes don't be surprised they are the government they control and know all. So then you are probably going to be slapped with a very large sum of back support. The courts will also make you pay for the paternity test, so much innocent until proven guilty being their job. More like innocent until you prove yourself guilty...ya that's what i though too. Now to top it all off you're now fully responsible for paying the birthing cost of your child. The Mother has no obligation to pay ANYTHING AT ALL for the birthing. There is no way to fight it either they tell you to suck it up and should have kept your pants on. Now you have the option of leaving it at that and paying whatever percentage of your gross income your state thinks is fair to the Mother. But you will want to ask for some sort of visitation or custody its your child right? Now in most states they do not want to even deal with this unless they have to. So what they do is send you to something called Tri-Mediation. I'll give a brief explanation of Tri-Mediation. You and the Mother of your child go to talk to a neutral 3rd party. You will each be given a 30 minute period to complain about each other and what they do and don't do for your child. Then for on hour and a half you two will try to discuss what you both want to try to do. Also to note if your child is less than one you pretty much have no rights and can't get any judge anywhere to do anything for you regarding taking away custody or having longer placements with your child. The reason for this is because any judge will not want to separate the Mother from the child, unless you have good reason for it. Such as the child is being neglected or in a harmful environment. Now don't get your hopes up even if they are because even then the Mother only has to go to a couple of parenting classes and they will give the child back to her.
So after you have something setup in Tri-Mediation you can see your child and may possibly have some rights and say to them. But if you didn't agree to anything then the courts will consider this they tried job well done and thats all they do about your situation. The only way for them to do anything again is if you go and file paperwork at your local Clerk of Courts at a cost of about $50. Now you have to consider you have been paying child support along with back support and probably don't have harly enough money to eat let alone fiel for that paperwork but its the only way to proceed further. Once the paper work is filed they will setup a court date in the next 3 months hopefully for the judge to look at your case. Now you also have to realize that once again if your child is less than one there's no hope really, and even at two it's probably an iffy. Now you also have to hire a lawyer and you probably don't have the money for, not to mention during this entire time you're not seeing your child. Being reduced to just a paycheck for them. Now when you bring your case before the judge you have better havea good case and show you have been trying to do your best otherwise you're speaking to deaf ears.
Now on the other hand if your Tri-Mediation goes "good" you now have the right to see your child in terms you both agreed on. These terms probably include supervised visits for a couple of hours, no overnights, and you have to take some sort of parenting class. But during this time you can go see your child. But as most people know Mothers lie! So you will probably want to look up recording laws of your state before you start recording. Now if you cannot record and you ahve to go to their home you may want to consider filing the paper work needed with your local Clerk of courts. This is to pretty much change the location of where you are to mett preferably a public place where there are cameras and people around that can see you both. These could include the mall play area, cafe, restaurant, and playgrounds. This can be very hard to setup because it now takes extra time and effort of the Mother. She will probably not want to do this or even consider doing this unless ordered by the courts. Now after you have had some good progress and introduction into your child's life you may possibly be able to take her for longer periods of time. But as for now we are going to have to wait to see exactly what happens next.